“I am really good at what I do, BUT I will never get that promotion that I want.”
“I am a really beautiful person, BUT my hips are wide and my left foot turns in.”
“I am a good writer, BUT I will never be able to write a book.”
“I want to lose weight and be healthy, BUT I hate exercise and eating healthy.”
“I love my partner, BUT I wish they were more giving”.
“I want to get a massage, BUT I don’t deserve that”.
“I know healthy food is good for me, BUT I can’t spend that money on myself”.
“I want to be in a healthy relationship, BUT no one is trustworthy.”
You get where I am going with this? Everything after the “but” is a lie. Our thinking is shaped early on through life experiences and family dynamics.
I have been a psychotherapist since 1996 and recently became a health coach. I have helped countless people on their journey to wellness whether it be mind, body, spirit, overcoming an addiction, or all of the above. I have worked with people from all walks of life, sexual orientation, gender, race, young and old. What I have come to find is that a person’s thinking has a profound effect on the condition of their life and the value they place on themselves and relationships of any kind— Food, lovers, family, friends, co-workers, etc. In fact, I believe that the way a person thinks can make or break their stress level, their weight, and overall happiness. Events happen. We can’t stop the stuff from flying at us. We can, however, look at our perception of an event and change that. As I like to say, “Perception is 9/10ths of the law.”
I assist individuals with reviewing early life events as a baseline to look at their thinking mind. There is no need to get Freudian here and really analytical. I look back to see what events had impact and then look at how that has shaped the thinking mind. Don’t get me wrong-other things factor in, however, I do believe that if you change your thoughts, you change your feelings, and then subsequently, your behavior will change. Have you held yourself back at times, have you stayed in a relationship too long when it was not good for you, have you attempted to diet and yo yo back?
In addition to learning about the “BUT” I also love to look at self-care. Where are you on your “to do” list? Are you even on it?
So buckle up and contact me to examine your thoughts. You will be glad you did. Life can appear to be complicated and stressful. Having tools and insight can alter the trajectory of your life. Awareness is the first step.
Lisa Hoffman-Lamanna, RLCSW
ROOTS HEALTH AND WELLNESS
Planting Foundations for Life